What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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