After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
