That's when you crack a 10am beer
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
