this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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