Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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