I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You left your phone here
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