No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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