Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it hurts more in the daytime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize