You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.