Texts From Last Night

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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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  (308): It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low http://tfl.nu/rfi4
  Replies (25) Good night (2139) Bad night (908)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool

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  (304): this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool http://tfl.nu/dl9i
  Replies (53) Good night (3598) Bad night (877)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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  (812): Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/9awl
  Replies (59) Good night (2794) Bad night (5126)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5953) Bad night (2580)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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  (404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64
  Replies (9) Good night (7185) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

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  (207): Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy http://tfl.nu/f2lx
  Replies (40) Good night (4880) Bad night (2183)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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  (651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5
  Replies (13) Good night (1613) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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  (408): I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER. http://tfl.nu/adi1
  Replies (7) Good night (1506) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

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  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

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  (306): We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them. http://tfl.nu/jpsq
  Replies (8) Good night (2169) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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  (813): IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA http://tfl.nu/d0dd
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Please never have kids.

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  (727): I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour. (1-727): Please never have kids. http://tfl.nu/il5z
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal

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  (734): My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal http://tfl.nu/dojo
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.

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  (207): We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now. http://tfl.nu/72zt
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (154)

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