Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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(678): View more from Georgia

If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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(678): View more from Georgia

After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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(914): View more from New York

yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

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(714): View more from California

I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.

Fav 1 935 370
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(281): View more from Texas

This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?

Fav 2 10 42
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