And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.