Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend

(936): View more from Texas

Get a boyfriend

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(281): How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend (936): Get a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/1049

Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (1075)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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(248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs

Replies (12) Good night (1318) Bad night (751)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.

(540): View more from Virginia

I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.

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(540): I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up. (540) I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid. http://tfl.nu/obhg

Replies (20) Good night (3920) Bad night (727)
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(330): View more from Ohio

this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away

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(330): this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away http://tfl.nu/f28q

Replies (19) Good night (3866) Bad night (907)
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(513): View more from Ohio

both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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(513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7

Replies (22) Good night (1888) Bad night (7418)
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(716): View more from New York

you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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(716): you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/chus

Replies (13) Good night (2534) Bad night (989)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

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(330): Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high. http://tfl.nu/m92h

Replies (8) Good night (3297) Bad night (1028)
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(513): View more from Ohio

With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap

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(513): With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap http://tfl.nu/39t2

Replies (7) Good night (2612) Bad night (836)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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(601): Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it..... http://tfl.nu/aiat

Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (1027)
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(207): View more from Maine

Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

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(207): Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/jzfa

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (1389)
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(207): View more from Maine

All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?

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(207): All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/fpgg

Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (419)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

(606): View more from Kentucky

Fuck him.

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(304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7

Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (982)
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(518): View more from New York

you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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(518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd

Replies (6) Good night (1727) Bad night (567)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

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(778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr

Replies (16) Good night (367) Bad night (900)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.

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(847): Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/r89c

Replies (0) Good night (773) Bad night (348)

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