Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d

Replies (25) Good night (543) Bad night (2852)
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(409): View more from Texas

nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

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(409): nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair http://tfl.nu/hpi9

Replies (26) Good night (513) Bad night (4381)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

no. you can't hotbox the world.

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(973): no. you can't hotbox the world. http://tfl.nu/5as3

Replies (54) Good night (5354) Bad night (874)
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(571): View more from Virginia

All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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(571): All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/3sbr

Replies (4) Good night (4903) Bad night (858)
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(616): View more from Michigan

So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

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(616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6

Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (993)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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(570): Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/d944

Replies (23) Good night (5482) Bad night (1161)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis

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(202): Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis http://tfl.nu/68pm

Replies (5) Good night (2515) Bad night (619)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?

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(205): Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that? http://tfl.nu/yb0a

Replies (4) Good night (1925) Bad night (466)
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(907): View more from Alaska

It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

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(907): It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome. http://tfl.nu/2baz

Replies (8) Good night (2388) Bad night (452)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Love me.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just for one nugget?

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(508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03

Replies (6) Good night (2750) Bad night (689)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do

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(615): there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/2r0x

Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (447)
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(707): View more from California

I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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(707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5

Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (262)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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(701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy

Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (297)
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(469): View more from Texas

I'm going through a really dark time right now

(214): View more from Texas

I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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(469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3

Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (1457)
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(360): View more from Washington

Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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(360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo

Replies (5) Good night (1322) Bad night (215)

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