At least make sure they are 18
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??