I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin