out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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