Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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