you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we should paint friendship bongs
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
