I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
