he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
