Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am naked and annoyed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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