Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
