Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
