Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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