"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
