He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
