Duck Duck Cougar?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize