We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
