dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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