I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize