"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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