Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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