Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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