And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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