Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was like eating out sand paper
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
