I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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