i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
