Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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