You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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