No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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