Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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