Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
