Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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