dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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