your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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