Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
