I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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