for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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