Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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