were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
