True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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