and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
