yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
