What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
