she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
why is half of my head shaved?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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