i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
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For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize