Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
