You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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