idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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