He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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