i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
