who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize