Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
