Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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