I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
