check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
