I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
